I've been lurking here for quite some time and now after my 5th time up (4th time board eligible), I think I need to reevaluate every single part of how I've been going about this. The last couple of times I was up I felt okay not making it just because I thought I was still too new as an IT1 and personally felt I wasn't ready. I thought this time up was my best shot but to no avail, I was N. I really don't know anyone personally that sat the boards so I feel unbelievably awkward reaching out to one of the ITCMs without the feeling of "hey, I know you have about 500 other IT1s asking you this but can you also take time to help me out?" It's really awesome seeing Sailors of mine that were 2nds now putting on anchors this year but I hate feeling like I'm the perfect example of "those who can, do and those who can't, teach/coach."